Friday, March 19, 2010

Anxiety is creeping in!

With less than 20 days to go, I am beginning to feel very excited, anxious, sad, worried, nervous, and scared. We have begun packing our everyday things and so I think it’s started to hit me. Before we had only been packing items that we didn’t use very often so the effect was not the same. Now we have packed the crystal, dishes, movies, and the majority of our clothes. My closet is cleared and my kitchen cabinets are empty. I am feeling a bit like my cabinets, a little empty and a little hollow. I guess no one said leaving your whole life would be easy. All of our visitors are gone. The night before Chace left I was so saddened. I couldn’t get the lump out of my throat all night. Gabby was sad and sat down next to her big sister and held on. Little kids feel more than we know. We are not sure if we will get to see Chace for the next few years while we are out of the country but I really hope that she has the opportunity to visit us. We will miss her more than even we can imagine right now. I know it was really hard on my husband to let go, this time especially. Do not miss understand, I am not questioning the decision to pursue my life calling I am just struggling at this time with saying goodbye to the comfortable life that I have built for myself and my family.

So what is next for us…Well, we are continuing to pack this weekend. Everything will be put away in boxes or suitcases. We are posting all of our big items on craigslist including my husband’s truck. We are finalizing and sealing the barrel (I will post pictures) and taking it to the shipping place next Thursday, March 25. We have an open house on March 27th, my birthday. Hopefully we will have good luck. Brandon will be gone on the 26, 27, 28, and 29th of March to Missouri so I am looking forward to some more one on one time with my Gabby.

That is all for now. I’m going to enjoy some time off.

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